Connecting Space

Connecting Space

Healing Matters

Thought for Winter 2019

As the nights draw in and the days light fades early

Plants take there sustinace to their roots and withdraw under the earth for shelter

Trees shed their leaves

Birds migrate

Animals withdraw to their dens early

A time of reflection of being greatful for the years adventures and the hopes for the next

The  human body feels the cold and has the urge to seek out shelter

Mood can drop and the urge to hybernate , until spring reappears is all too familiar for some.

The season laying heavy on the mind

The holiday season can be  a time filled with joy, yet, for some people these months are filled with obligations, stress, and guilt and a dip in mood known as the winter blues or SAD

Throw out your inner critic.

One of the uglier parts of this season is the need for perfection – whether it is hosting the perfect party, having the best Christmas decorations on the block, or finding the perfect present for someone.   Of course you want to do your best, but it’s also important to be gentle with yourself and not aim for perfection if it starts to cause other harmful emotions like stress, anxiety, guilt, frustration or anger.  We tend to be most critical of ourselves and our actions so use this season as a reminder to practice compassion  with yourself as well as others.

Self Care when feeling low

1. Talk to somebody about how you feel – whether it be a friend, family member or colleague

2. Try and get involved in social activities – whether it be with friends or community groups

3. Improve your sleep routine

4. Set small goals for each day for you to achieve – making sure  they are realistic on how you feel on that day, its key that you create a structure to your day

5. Engage in self-care – look after yourself – do something that you enjoy at least once a day

6. Keep a though diary on how you feel each day – and try to challenge any negative thoughts that come up – keep positive affirmations in your diary!!

7. Practice a mindfulness technique

8. Try some light exercise such as going out for a walk

9. Avoid caffeine, alcohol and mood altering substances – also be mindful of how much sugar is in your diet

10. If you are experiencing low mood for longer than two weeks, we strongly recommend that you go and see your GP – this will help you explore what services are available


 

 

Author: Jill • Filed under: Body Matters, Featured, Healing Matters, Health Matters, Therapy Matters • Posted: November 15, 2019 4:57 pm

Spring 2019

When I think of Spring I think of new beginnings, change, possibility.I see things through fresh eyes taking in the world with new perspective ,noticing the detail .

What  change do you want to make this year?

What qualities would you like to grow this year?

In making the change what possibility does this open up for you ?

Could therapy support the changes ?

The way in which we work is directly related to the issues the client brings to therapy, as well as the outcome we contract for. So if someone comes to therapy due to a specific event that has, or is causing him or her difficulties, and they wish to explore how they can resolve this we are likely to consider that the client wants counselling.

If a client comes to therapy with a generalised dissatisfaction with how they experience themselves, others or the world in which they live, we would explore through the contracting process the usefulness of psychotherapy for the client. We would see this particularly indicated if someone wonders why the same unpleasant events repeatedly occur in their lives.

Sometimes clients may come to therapy initially for counselling following an event, and then discover that their own beliefs, behaviours or feelings have contributed to the difficult event occurring in the first place. At this point the client may wish to re-contract for a psychotherapy contract, which not only explores current options but also explores the ways in which they can bring about lasting positive change in themselves.

 

 

 

Author: Jill • Filed under: Featured, Healing Matters • Posted: March 4, 2019 9:41 am

Thought for the day September 2015

Often, a shift in perspective can help relieve the stress of a variety of situations

Did you know that optimists actually experience better circumstances, in part, because their way of thinking helps tocreate better circumstances in their lives? It’s true! The habit of optimism and positive thinking can bring better health, better relationships, and, yes, better grades. Learn how to train your brain for more positive self talk and a brighter future with affirmations and other tools for optimism.

 

 

 

Author: Jill • Filed under: Healing Matters • Posted: September 13, 2015 8:43 pm

Thought for September 2013

Rucksacks

We all have our habits some say they are what separate us from the herd .

But when a habit dominates it becomes a crutch , curtailing our  spontaneity .  It grows by unnoticed degree, until it  can hold us captive .

It seems that we all carry our own rucksacks on life’s journey.  In our rucksack
we carry our life’s experiences and expectations, and these influence the way
we are, what we do, and what we make of our life and how we go about it. 
Our rucksack – and what we carry in it – affects the way we think, feel and act: 
towards ourselves, towards others, and towards life in general. 
If we think about our problems as “rucksacks”, we can take the problem/s outside of us,
which makes it easier to change things in a positive way.  Before we can make those
helpful changes, we need to understand more about our personal rucksack, and how it
affects us.

Understanding our Rucksack
What’s in your rucksack that’s affecting your ability to cope with daily life?
Past experiences – memories, thoughts, images, ruminating  about the past
Current concerns – life circumstances, worries.
What’s keeping your problems going now?
Future – anxiety about what might happen and your ability to cope
Your core beliefs about yourself, others and the world as a result of past
experiences, current circumstances and anxiety about the future
If you could picture a rucksack, how big would it be?  
As you bring up a picture of that rucksack now, what colour is it?  
How heavy is it?  
How do you carry it?  
Using one strap over one shoulder, 2 straps, strap around the abdomen, wheels,
handle
How is it fastened?  How tightly?  How secure is it?  Does it have a zip, velcro, buttons,
straps, padlock etc?
What would cause it to come undone and open up?
What would happen to you then?
What would that look like?  What would others see (about you) when that happens?
Are there pockets on the outside that you keep things in?  What’s in there?  Is there
anything else attached to it?
Consider drawing the rucksack

What does it feel like when you’re carrying the rucksack?  
What do you feel in your body?  
What goes through your mind?  
What does it mean or say about you (that you’re carrying this rucksack)?
How does carrying the rucksack affect you?  (in different situations, generally)
Thoughts
* What goes through your mind?
* What images or memories come up?
* What thoughts keep coming up?
* What does that say about you, or mean?
Feelings
*What emotions do you often experience?  Depression, Anxiety, Anger etc
Physical sensations
* What do you often feel in your body? 
Tiredness, headache, heart racing or pounding,
breathing changes, shaking, dizzy, light-headed, tense
muscles, hot, sweaty, can’t concentrate, poor memory,
restless etc
Behaviours
*What do you do that helps you cope or feel better?
* What do you do that keeps your problem going?
* What do you do that makes you feel bad?
What do other people see (when you’re carrying your rucksack)?  What would they notice
about you?  
What do think they notice about you?
What might they see you doing?
What would they think that you were feeling or thinking?
What would make them think that about you?
Is there only one rucksack or do you have different ones?  What do they look like (etc)? 
When do you use them?   What’s in them…..etc? 
What else is there about the rucksack, or about you when you’re carrying the rucksack?
Exceptions
Are there times when you don’t carry the rucksack, or when it feels lighter, or is different
in any way?  Describe those times..
Are there times when it feels bigger, heavier etc?
Are there times when you carry or fasten it differently?
Are there times when you take it off, even if only for a short time?  
At these times, how are things different?
Thoughts
* What goes through your mind at those times?
* What thoughts come up?
* Do you notice any images or memories?
Emotions
* What do you feel emotionally at those times?
Physical Sensations
*What do you feel in your body?  Where do you feel it?
Behaviours
* What do you do differently at those times?
* What would other people see you doing?
Can you think of a time when you felt much better?  What happened to your rucksack at
that time?



Coping
Are there things in your rucksack that help you cope with your difficulties?  What are
they?  
What is it about your rucksack that keeps you going or stops you
getting worse?
Are these coping strategies helping you in the long term?
What would be the first thing you would change about the way you
cope?
What would you do more of or start doing?
What would you do less of or stop doing?

Changing the Rucksack
Could you carry a different rucksack, or could you make changes to the one you have?
What would your new rucksack be like?  What colour would you like it to be?   How big
would it be?  How does it fasten?  How do you wear it?  How heavy would it be?  What
would be in it?  What would you carry?
What would be most helpful for you to carry with you?
How would you feel different if you were able to take off the rucksack?
Would you start by lightening the rucksack in some way?  How?
If you took the rucksack off, what would be the first thing you’d notice?  And then what? 
What would others notice if you weren’t wearing your rucksack? 
What would need to happen before you could take the rucksack off or
lighten the load?


Discarding the Rucksack
When could you start taking it off?  Where could you leave it?  How long for?  
Can you imagine taking and leaving the rucksack off for a period of time?  
Can you imagine discarding the rucksack completely and not needing it any more?   How
would things be different if you didn’t have your rucksack?  
What thoughts would go through your mind at that time?
What would that feel like?  (emotionally and in your body)
What would it look like?  What would you do differently?
Can you imagine waking up one morning and finding that your rucksack had gone, and no
longer having to lug it around with you.  
What would be the first thing you would notice that was different?  
What would be the next thing?  
What else?
What would others notice about you?  
What would be the first thing they’d notice or comment on?  
What then?

Moving on
Now that we know more about your rucksack, and how you’d like things to
be when you discard your rucksack, make an action plan to start bringing
these things about:

What do I need to stop doing?

What do I need to do less of?

What do I need to start doing?

What do I need to do more of?

How can I think differently?
Notice and remind myself about the rucksack and how it affects the way I think,
feel and act, and how it’s keeping me feeling bad
Remember the new rucksack or being without the rucksack, and how I
would think and feel differently
Remind myself what I would be doing differently without a rucksack, or
with a new rucksack
Imagine myself without the rucksack, doing, thinking and feeling
differently  (at least three times daily)
Tell myself I have discarded the rucksack, and I can be the new me

Author: Jill • Filed under: Featured, Healing Matters • Posted: September 30, 2013 10:25 am

Soul’s Eternity

I live in France.  I have lived here for about two years now.  It’s interesting from time to time to stumble on how ideas which are similar are expressed differently in French compared to English.  So they are similar but not the same.

Here is an example – in English, where we talk about “giving up our soul”, in French the equivalent translates as “giving back  our soul”.  What a difference.  In both, the idea that the soul has an existence beyond ours, but the French is much less individualistic.  Our soul is something which we have been lent and must return.  ‘Soul’ as a life-force in the physical body, as long as the physical body can endure.  And when it dies, the soul returns and becomes part again of the source.

I don’t believe in past lives.  But I do believe in a ‘soul thread’, a continuation of each one of us through our actions and our words, through our relationship with each person we have ever met, the means by which we have changed them and they us…   the way in which we have affected them, which will alter in some small way how they in turn affect others.  And so the soul thread is eternal, and perhaps what we give back is the means our bodies have on loan to keep spinning that thread by connecting with others.  It is temporary.  But when we stop spinning, our part of the soul thread is still there.  That is the soul’s eternity… and ours.

Author: Simon • Filed under: Healing Matters, Narrative Matters, Spirituality Matters • Tags: , , , , • Posted: August 16, 2009 9:10 am