This month’s theme: Healing Old Wounds – “the body remembers what the mind forgets” (attributed to Mereno, who founded psychodrama).
What images do you see in this painting? Does it speak to you more of wounds than healing? Or may be the title doesn’t fit how you see the picture.
Do we even view the past in terms of wounds? Perhaps what has happened in the past is past, with no connection with now? We don’t have to have had dramatic trauma in our lives to feel present dis-ease in situations. However, if we meet events in our lives that are beyond our ability to cope, this information is registered in our body. It can be laid down as a “wound” that festers, inhibiting and crippling us in the present and the future.
I believe that our body is a container holding subliminal reactions to our daily life. That inner response, scarcely noticed, has a cumulative affect, influencing future choices. For instance, certain “low” feelings may be a reaction to something said in a passing conversation. That comment may link with past experiences of failure. The voice inside us may tell us, in the next choice presented to us, that “there is no point…”. This “giving up” is seen in the problem shown below.
“once again im struggling, every thing is building up and up, dont have anyone to talk to, no one seems to understand me, feel i should stop trying to be heard because it doesnt get me any where. ive given up”
Sue is feeling in her body the old wounds building up. The body sense is very familiar to her. That sense of struggling, reminding us, perhaps, of someone drowning, fighting for breath. Sue hears herself talking to herself because no one else understands her. Yet, I can imagine that many of you reading this are nodding your head, thinking: “I know just what she means”.
What are the wounds Sue is suffering from and is there any healing? Sue doesn’t say what the historical wounds are, only the psychological effects she is living with.
Another problem submitted is concerned with a present decision that has its roots in the person’s relationship with her mother. This person, “Janet”, wonders whether she should go to her mother’s funeral even though she hasn’t seen her in 10 years.
It is sad, but many of us, who feel that no one understands, will probably have had a mother who was not able to build an intimate relationship with her child. The child has missed that body sense of Someone who Hears them and can be trusted.
Sue has struggled for so long to be heard, she is now at the point of giving up. Janet gave up on her mother years before and perhaps sees it as hypocritical to do the expected thing by going to the funeral. I would suggest that Janet trusts her body sense in making the decision. When, recently, I heard my brother had died, I felt unable, for many reasons, to go to the funeral and said so. But then, through circumstances and a body sense of “yes”, I went to the funeral after all. My body gave me an inner confirmation. My decision was not based on what people may think, but on what I perceived as “right”.
Sue needs to be heard and understood. Her wounds will be “old” going back to her earliest years. There will be further historical wounds added to this causing her to feel hopeless. This letter is only a drop in the ocean of hearing something of what she is voicing.
The artwork above is a doodle I did when feeling low, listening to the different parts of me. Noticing your feelings and doing something that respects them, whether through making an image, writing or simply speaking aloud, can help sustain you in your struggle with wounds that ache from the past.
This newsletter is called the “Connecting-Space” because I hope it will mean you can hear your own voice more clearly and that by connecting with others you will be strengthened. Next newsletter may be written by one of my clients.